As a mom, it’s tough to see your teen struggle with friendships and social pressure. And when your family moves to a new country like ours, the struggle can feel even more amplified. My daughters had been virtually schooling for most of their school life, so transitioning to face-to-face schooling in a new country felt like diving into the deep end for both of them—and for me.
I remember the first few days of their new school, how they felt nervous about meeting new people and worried about how they would fit in. It was a huge shift for all of us. I wanted to help them, but at the same time, I needed to respect their independence. Seeing your teen navigate the ups and downs of friendships, especially in a foreign environment, can be emotionally draining. But I’ve learned along the way that with patience, empathy, and some practical steps, you can support your teen in overcoming these challenges.
If you’ve found yourself in a similar situation, where your teen is trying to find their footing in a new school and a new social landscape, here are some things I’ve learned during this transition that might help.
1. Acknowledge the Newness of the Situation
I’ll be honest with you: the first few weeks were hard. The school environment was so different from what they were used to—new teachers, new friends, new culture, and new expectations. It was like stepping into an entirely different world, and my girls felt the pressure.
As moms, it’s easy to jump into problem-solving mode, but the first thing we had to do was acknowledge just how big of a change this was for them. Moving to a different country and entering a new school is huge. It’s more than just new subjects and teachers; it’s new social rules, new cliques, new everything.
When my daughters came home exhausted, frustrated, or even excited about their new friends, I made sure to listen—really listen. Sometimes, all they needed was someone to hear them, someone who understood that making friends in a new country wasn’t as easy as it once was. If your teen is adjusting to face-to-face schooling after a long time of virtual schooling, it’s important to recognize how significant this shift is for them emotionally.
2. Encourage Open Communication, But Don’t Push
When my daughters were feeling left out or disconnected, I wanted to jump in and make it better immediately. After all, they’re my kids, and I just wanted them to be happy and make friends. But over time, I realized the best thing I could do was not pressure them but encourage them to express themselves when they were ready.
I would say things like, “How do you feel about your friends?” or “Is there anything that’s making you feel uncomfortable?” But I never pushed. There were moments when they weren’t ready to talk, and that was okay. I had to give them space to process their feelings and find their own way.
When your teen is navigating a new social landscape, they may need time to adjust before they can talk about it. Encourage them to share their experiences without judgment, and let them know you’re there when they’re ready. In our case, it took a few weeks for my daughter to feel comfortable enough to open up about a situation where she wasn’t being included in group chats. It wasn’t easy, but once she started talking, it opened the door for solutions.
3. Recognize the Challenge of Making Friends in a New Country
I can’t emphasize this enough: Making friends in a new country, especially after years of virtual schooling, can feel daunting. The dynamics in face-to-face schooling are completely different. When my daughters first started, they had to learn how to navigate group projects, lunch periods, and those awkward moments when everyone seems to already have a friend group.
One thing I encouraged them to do was to take small steps—like sitting next to someone new at lunch or joining a club that interested them. The idea wasn’t to force friendships but to gently step outside of their comfort zone and allow things to unfold naturally. It’s also important to remind them that it’s okay to take their time. Friendships aren’t built overnight, especially in a new social setting.
If your teen is struggling in a similar way, remind them that friendship takes time and that it’s okay if they don’t have a best friend right away. It’s normal to feel isolated at first, especially when navigating a new school environment.
4. Help Them Understand Social Media’s Role
I know social media wasn’t a huge part of their social life when they were in virtual school, but once they started face-to-face schooling, it became a bigger part of the picture. Group chats, Instagram stories, and posts started to have an effect on their friendships, and honestly, I had to remind myself to stay on top of it.
There was one week where my daughter came home frustrated because a group of her new friends had posted pictures of an outing she wasn’t invited to. It stung, and it’s not easy to watch your teen feel left out—especially when it’s happening online for everyone to see.
This is where I reminded my girls that social media can sometimes create a distorted reality. Just because something looks “perfect” on a screen doesn’t mean that’s the full story. I’ve made it a point to help them navigate social media with intention, reminding them that if something makes them feel bad about themselves, it’s okay to step away or unfollow.
It’s important to help your teen set boundaries with social media and remind them that it doesn’t define their worth or friendships. Social media can amplify feelings of exclusion or loneliness, so teaching them how to navigate it mindfully is key.
5. Teach Them How to Recognize Healthy and Unhealthy Friendships
When you’ve just moved to a new place, you might be tempted to just latch onto any friendship that comes your way. But one of the most valuable lessons I’ve taught my daughters during this transition is how to spot healthy friendships. Not every new friend will be a good influence, and it’s okay for them to walk away from relationships that aren’t adding value to their lives.
We had a situation where one of my daughters started spending more time with a group that wasn’t very supportive. They would tease her, make sarcastic remarks, and generally make her feel small. It wasn’t easy for her to see at first, but I gently helped her reflect on how she felt in their company. I asked, “How do you feel when you’re with them?”
This was a turning point. Over time, she realized that this group wasn’t offering the kind of friendship she needed. She slowly distanced herself and found others who made her feel good about herself.
It’s crucial to teach your teen to recognize when a friendship is toxic or not serving their emotional well-being. Not every friendship is worth keeping, and helping them set boundaries is one of the best things you can do.
Takeaways:
Watching your teen struggle with friendships and social pressure is never easy, especially when they’re adjusting to a new school, new friends, and a new culture. The transition from virtual schooling to face-to-face schooling in a new country is an entirely new challenge, one that can sometimes feel overwhelming for both them and you as a mom.
But remember this: Your teen is resilient, and they will find their footing in time. You can help them by being a supportive listener, encouraging open communication, helping them navigate social media, and teaching them to value healthy friendships. With time, they’ll grow in confidence and develop the skills they need to handle these changes—and so will you.
By walking beside them through this journey and providing the right kind of support, you’ll both come out stronger on the other side.
This blog post is part of ‘Blogaberry Dazzle’
hosted by Cindy D’Silva and Noor Anand Chawla.
This was such a heartfelt and relatable read! Watching our kids navigate friendships and social pressure is tough, but your advice on listening, giving them space, and guiding them toward healthy relationships is so valuable. Loved how you highlighted the impact of social media too, such an important conversation!
Thank you so much for your kind words! I’m so glad the post resonated with you. It really is tough watching our kids face these challenges, but I believe with the right support and guidance, they can navigate it more confidently. Social media is such a huge influence today, and I’m glad you found the discussion on that important. Your feedback means a lot, and I appreciate you taking the time to comment!
As someone who navigated the chaotic world of teenage friendships and social pressure (and still carries some battle scars), I found this article super relatable. It’s not easy for teens to handle peer pressure and the fear of being left out, especially in today’s social media-driven world. I loved how this piece emphasizes open communication and emotional support, which are often overlooked. Honestly, I wish I had such guidance back then! Kudos for shedding light on such an important topic.
Thank you so much for sharing your personal experience – it really adds depth to this discussion! The challenges of navigating friendships and social pressure are definitely tough, and it’s even harder with the added influence of social media. I’m so glad the emphasis on open communication and emotional support resonated with you. Your kind words mean a lot, and I truly hope this article can help parents and teens find their way through these challenges. Thanks again for your thoughtful comment!
My son will be facing this next year when he moves from his boarding school in India to Istanbul. It will be a new country and context for him and I hope he manages the transition well.
That sounds like a big transition for your son, and I can imagine it might come with its challenges. Moving to a new country and environment can definitely be tough, but with your support and understanding, he’ll likely navigate it better than expected. Encouraging open communication and being there for him as he adjusts will make all the difference. Wishing him a smooth transition to Istanbul, and I hope it becomes an exciting new chapter for him!
What a comprehensive post on handling teens. Am sure all moms are going to applaud this. There was no social media in my teens, but now this is such a huge thing. It does impact our perceptions and reality. Children really need that grounding, and with a lot of gentle support.
Thank you so much for your kind words! You’re absolutely right – social media adds a whole new layer of pressure that wasn’t there before. It can definitely shape perceptions and make things feel more complicated for teens today. Grounding them with love, understanding, and gentle support is so important to help them navigate these challenges. I’m glad this post resonated with you!
Peer Pressure when added with parental pressure to match the Peers performance creats the real chaos in the life of a child. In our times we experienced that in large amount and its really painful . Every child is unique and friends should be an association where they can share their feelings, hearts and emotions. But some how the word called COMPETITION spoiled that innocence of friendship.
You’ve made such an important point! The combination of peer pressure and parental expectations can create immense stress for teens, making it difficult for them to just be themselves. Friendship should indeed be a safe space where they can share and grow, free from competition and judgment. It’s heartbreaking to see how that natural bond gets affected by external pressures. Thanks for sharing your perspective – it’s a reminder for us all to encourage authenticity and emotional support in our kids’ friendships.
It is important to pay attention to such issues as a parent. Often, we ignore such matters, considering them trivial but the impact of such matters may be impactful in the long run.
You’re absolutely right! It’s easy to overlook these issues, thinking they are just part of growing up, but they can have a lasting impact on our teens. By addressing these struggles early, we can guide them through tough social situations and help them build the confidence to navigate challenges in a healthy way. Thanks for sharing your thoughts!
It is indeed a challenge to make friends and that too in a different countrybwith different culture. That must have been an uphill task for your daughters. But I love the waybhow you navigated through it. The pointers are brilliant. Thanks for sharingbthese gems!
Thank you so much for your kind words! It definitely was a challenge for my daughters adjusting to a new culture and making friends, but it’s been such a learning experience for all of us. I’m really glad you found the pointers helpful! It’s all about taking it one step at a time and staying patient. Thanks again for reading and sharing your thoughts!
The first and foremost way to deal with teens is open communication. You have rightly pointed out that teens should be comfortable talking about any and everything with a parent.Parents have to render emotional support when they are faced with peer pressure.
Thank you for your thoughtful comment! I completely agree—open communication is the foundation of a strong relationship with our teens. It’s so important for them to feel comfortable sharing their thoughts and struggles with us. And yes, emotional support goes a long way in helping them navigate peer pressure. I’m glad this post resonated with you! Your insights are spot on.
Your post made me relive these difficult experiences when my son was a teen. It wasn’t easy, and like you rightly say, your heart breaks into a thousand pieces when you see your child feeling sad and lonely. And yet, as a prudent mother, you help them heal and take baby steps (the best advice, I believe) towards their friendship and relationship goals. Very well written write-up on a highly sensitive but pertinent motherhood topic.
Thank you so much for your thoughtful comment! I can feel the depth of your experience, and I truly admire the strength and wisdom it takes to support our teens through those tough moments. It’s never easy watching them go through these challenges, but as you mentioned, baby steps and gentle guidance can lead to healing and growth. I’m glad the post resonated with you, and I appreciate you sharing your perspective!
Lovely post. It is really difficult to see the struggle of our teen child. I too face this situation but yet my kid is only 10 years old. Your tips to support them and guidance are really helpful.
Thank you so much for your kind words! It’s never easy to see our kids struggle, no matter their age. I’m glad the tips resonated with you, and I hope they can help as you navigate this stage with your child. It’s great that you’re already thinking ahead—support during these early years will make a big difference down the line!
I am not a parent but have quite a few teens in the family and an equal number of frazzled parents who often have a hard time tackling them. Speaking from experience as a teen, they want to be treated as an adult while also having a leeway of being a kid once in a while.
You bring up such a great point! Teens often find themselves in that in-between phase, wanting independence but still needing guidance. It’s a tricky balance for parents, but being understanding and allowing space for both is key. Thanks for sharing your perspective!
Social media has become a very strange environment. Overall it has become more negative and the good it can bring out. One has to be very concious when we use the social media. You said rightly that it’s not always that ‘perfect’ as it appears on social media.
You’re absolutely right—social media can definitely create a distorted view of reality, and it’s so important to be conscious of how we and our teens engage with it. The “perfect” moments we see often don’t reflect the full picture, and that awareness is key to maintaining a healthy perspective. Thank you for sharing your thoughts!
This post really hit home. It’s not easy to watch your teens go through the challenges of making new friends and navigating social pressures, especially when you’re in a completely new environment. Your point about social media creating a distorted reality is also something many parents can relate to. These insights are really helpful for anyone facing similar challenges. Thank you for sharing such thoughtful advice.
I’m so glad this post resonated with you! It’s definitely tough watching our teens navigate these challenges, especially in a new environment. Social media can make it all feel even more overwhelming, so I’m happy the tips were helpful. Thank you for your kind words, and I hope this advice brings comfort and guidance to many parents in similar situations!
Teenage can be really challenging phase for children and I still wear some physical as well as emotional scars from my own teenage days. Navigating teenage friendships and social pressures can be challenging for teens of course, but for parents too, which your piece nicely highlights. It provides valuable insights into understanding and supporting teens during these pivotal years. Open communication, fostering self-confidence, and encouraging involvement in activities that align with their interests are crucial steps in helping teens build healthy relationships. Additionally, guiding them to recognize the qualities of supportive friendships can empower them to make positive social choices. Thank you for shedding light on this important topic and offering practical advice to parents seeking to support their teens.
Thank you so much for sharing your perspective! It’s so powerful to hear how your own experiences have shaped your understanding. I completely agree that open communication and fostering self-confidence are key. I’m glad the post was helpful, and I appreciate your thoughtful insights. Supporting our teens through these years is truly a journey, but with the right tools, we can help them navigate it with resilience and strength!
Whether within the country or outside, Mom’s struggle with teenage kids is real. We try to help them but don’t realize that they are resilient and can manage. They cope very well. Your tips are bang on. Thanks for sharing.
Thank you for your kind words! You’re absolutely right—teens are incredibly resilient, and sometimes we forget just how capable they are of managing on their own. It’s all about guiding them with support and trust. I’m glad the tips resonated with you!
Teenage is a tricky time and nowadays much harder than it was for us. So true that we can’t force or push them to make friends or have a social life. Adapting to a new place and school takes time and they deserve it. Good tips!
Thank you so much for your thoughtful comment! You’re absolutely right—teenage years can be so challenging, and the pressures they face today are definitely different from what we experienced. It’s important to give them space and time to adjust, especially in new environments. I’m glad you found the tips helpful! It’s all about supporting them while respecting their pace.
I live your blogs about kids and parenting. Being a new mom it’s always stressful to know what is right or what’s wrong. I always look forward to your blogs for some tips
I have a preteen daughter and I feel that I might need these guidelines soon. I know that handling a teen is difficult, and I am not sure how I do it all alone. Thanks for the post, will check how I move with the, in future
This is definitely a much helpful post for all teen moms. Thank you for bringing this up and explaining in detail
You have shared some excellent tips!
My pre teen is already struggling and my extremely introverted, shy 6 year old has a hard time in even returning a hello to others. The struggle is real! I just hope they mould into the norms of the society gradually!
Teenage is such a vulnerable time. Having gone through some nasty episodes, I already dread how my little one (who is only eight months old!!) will be and how I will cope up! Phew! Thanks for this article. It helps.
I totally get how you feel! The teenage years can seem daunting, especially when you think about the challenges ahead. But remember, the foundation you’re building now with your little one will go a long way when they hit those tricky teen years. Stay connected, stay patient, and keep the lines of communication open. You’ve got this! Glad the article helped!