Great Parenting Tips in the 21th Century on How to keep your Calm

As I was about to write this blog post, I just had my morning coffee and stare outside our living room window appreciating the view of endless buildings I can see from our 14th floor rental unit. It’s around 7am and since its school vacation, the kiddos are still at bed.

There’s many types of finding calmness or silence in our lives. As I always want to say in all of my Social Media platforms, it’s all in our mindset. You might have read recommendations of meditation, doing yoga, and other sort of things but in reality, all of this is useless if the intention of finding what suits you isn’t there.

Everything needs to start from YOU.

I’ve long lost interest in sugar-coating things for the sake of other’s appreciation. So the scenario I’ve just told you on my 1st paragraph may be my peace and calmness today but don’t get me wrong, my sink is full of dishes to waiting to be cleaned, the center table of our living room is full of legos the kids played before bed, and I’m still on my PJs.

I’m not here to preach rather to give you inspiration of reality on how to create and find the peace within you before the chaos of your day starts. Here are some suggestions you’d want to try out and hopefully find one that suits you and apply in your daily life. I promise you, once you find the one that gives you that calmness within you, no matter how stressful your day could be, you’ll be conquering it with positivity.😉

PRAYER

Spirituality plays a big part on Self-Care/ Self-Love. This is where you give everything you have within you, sorrows, problems, gratefulness, and appreciation to the Sovereign Ruler of all Mankind. When we believe that there’s someone who rules above us all and have great plans for us, there’s this calmness within you to just give all you’ve got and follow where life leads you. Giving thanks and praise the moment you wake-up in the morning is a great head-start to find calmness within your day.

ENVIRONMENT

We all walk different walks of life therefore, my calmness from our living room can’t be done if you work in the office and is on your way to work every morning at 7am. Despite all this difference, I still believe anyone can do it despite being anywhere by simply setting aside our smartphones for a few minutes. To be mindful of our surroundings, looking at the cars passing by, the people we come across and focusing on yourself and how you feel at the moment would give you calmness.

BREATHE

You must think, this lady must be crazy, of course I breathe! But hold your horses, are you sure you know you’re breathing? Most of us live like breathing robots. Yes, I say robots because they live their life like an automated thing. Simply letting the days pass by, work, pay bills, splurge on a weekend, then put that on repeat letting life simply pass by. Please don’t do this to yourself. START TODAY! Breathe… hear how you breathe, be mindful of how you breathe, and be grateful that you breathe.

GRATITUDE

I’ve already mentioned Spirituality earlier but finding gratitude in everything is a different level where you can find calmness. When you see things around you and find the good things on it and be grateful for it, it would feel like positivity running through your veins. With this, you’ll surely be calm facing your day.

YOGA

I’m really not a fan of yoga as I sometimes feel frustrated not being able to do those poses due to my in-flexible body (as if there’s a term like that). Anyways, I still include this on the list as I do it from time to time as well. By doing yoga, you get to be aware more of how you breathe and do some exercise as well.

EXERCISE

Find the best exercise for you. Some may be athletic, others love dancing, while others can’t find time to go to the gym. All of this doesn’t matter as exercise can be done in any place you want to do it as the main thing you need is YOURSELF and only YOU. Exercise simply means moving your body. So do it anyway you find yourself happily doing it. The key is finding the way where you get to sweat!

DRINK WATER

When you’re tired, drink water. Stressed, drink water. Bored, drink water. Need to calm down, drink water. Water isn’t just one of the essentials our body needs to live but for our brain as well be keep it’s soundness and find calm. Not only does drinking water help your body when you’re out of control but also gives you that “pause” where you get to breathe and rethink if what you’re doing/ or about to do is right. So, DRINK WATER.

Are you still looking for ways to be calm as a parent? Well, let me remind you that before you’re a parent, you’re an individual who needs the calmness within you. It is very important to start from yourself and be kind to yourself first before thinking of being a superhero for others. When you care for yourself and do things that you love, you’ll surely be great, positive and be able to give more in whatever endeavour you’re up to, may that be parenthood, being a good partner, employee, employer, boss, etc.

I hope you find this helpful and find this post inspiring. Having more people understand the need and usefulness of Self-Care in their lives would mean the world to me. I hope you help me spread the word and help make this world have people who live in happiness and positivity.

Wanting to know more how silence can help you improve your life? I’ve interviewed Jean Alfonso-Decena of InSilenceAI and I highly encourage you to watch it.

Join our community and be one of the first to read my latest blogs! For daily positivity and Self-Care, you can follow my Instagram account @themommywithagoal.

Easy ways to Step up your Daily Habits

We all have heard of eating healthy, keeping hydrated, exercising, and getting enough sleep if you are gearing towards living a healthy lifestyle, or what we love saying, living with the right habits.

By all means, those are all great and if done, will help you tremendously. If, and only if, you would want to go a step further though, there’s still tons of ways you can add to that! Take note that like all the other habits, these doesn’t necessarily need you to do much nor spend tons of money. What it needs is you doing it on a daily basis to see some effect.

Here are some next level daily habit ideas you can add to your daily ones:

DRY SKIN BRUSHING  

Our skin is the largest organ in our body, sometimes referred to as the third kidney, therefore, it is vital for our skin to do detoxification as well. Skin brushing is one way to do it. I just checked on Shopee for less than SGD 10.

Here’s how to skin brush:

  • Skin brush with a dry brush before you shower or bathe.
  • Always brush towards your heart, with the flow of the lymphatic fluid.
  • Begin at the soles of your feet, then move up your legs, brushing in circular motions.
  • Brush your chest and shoulders towards your heart in long strokes, then start at the fingertips and brush towards your body. Use small, circular strokes in your armpits.
  • It is suggested you move in a circular motion counterclockwise on your stomach to respect the direction of digestion and encourage detoxification.
  • Follow with a shower or bath using an all-natural soap.

TONGUE SCRAPING

I’ve been personally doing this for the past 3 weeks and though I haven’t seen real evidence on how it had helped with my digestion and liver, I am always left in awe on how disgustingly dirty my tongue is every time I scrape it. I might confess that it has been slowly turning into an addiction actually scraping my tongue.

So what are the benefits of doing this, you might ask? Tongue scraping every morning allows you to remove bacteria that can lead to poor digestion and liver stagnation.

I suggest tongue scraping before brushing your teeth. We got ours from Shopee as we needed new toothbrushes. I was quite skeptical on getting one so this toothbrush with a tongue scraper at the other end was a great way to try it out.

Doing it isn’t as complicated as you think. Simply use Use a tongue scraper or even a spoon, if you don’t have one, and reach as far back as possible, and pull forward, scraping off the white film, which is what you call the candida and streptococcus mutans.

EPSOM SALT BATHS 

Salt bath has been one of the most used one from this list. There’s different salt baths sold nowadays as part of Self-Care kits. Soaking for 20 minutes in an Epsom salt bath is of the most wonderful way to detoxify the body and relax the soul.

Try making one yourself if you are not keen to buying one. I’m sure you can find almost all of the ingredients available in your kitchen.

Here’s an easy recipe to make one:

Use that while in a warm bath and enjoy a nice cup of tea afterwards…Ahhh..I’m feeling relaxed already just writing this.haha

REBOUNDING 

Okay, let’s not complicate this too much. It’s basically a trampoline. This has been proven to be effective for lymphatic drainage. It is suggested to do rebounding for 15 minutes per day. Who would have thought, right?!

Anyways, I’ve been living in Singapore for more than a decade already and it’s very clear that we can’t have those backyard trampoline we see the Westerners can have due to space constraints. Well, no excuses here! Decathlon have these Fitness Trampoline fit for a single person with a front bar (I think for safety purposes) for S$120 while a Cardio Fitness Trampoline (without front bar) costs S$ 50. Great options so there won’t be any excuses to do Self-Care!

SWEATING

Not sure if this should still be included on the list but let’s just add it anyway. Committing to do at least 15 minutes of exercise a day just breaking a sweat can make a big difference already. Sweat releases toxins from the body, and regular exercise helps get the blood moving. This is essential for our body to have a healthy metabolism.

There’s a lot of ways to do exercising without exerting much effort. You can try brisk walking, jogging, rebounding, or cycling. Try going into YouTube and you’ll find tons of videos you can follow to break a sweat.

Another method to work up a sweat is by going in a sauna, a steam room, or a hot bath. It is essential to make sure to hydrate after sweating.

OIL PULLING

I first heard of oil pulling when I had the opportunity to interview Hema Dadhwal, an Instagram Influencer and Holistic Lifestyle Guru in one of my episodes of Women’s Self-Care Series. This has been part of her Self-Care habits. Truly, oil pulling has been one of the common detoxification practice for centuries. Coconut oil are the most commonly used kind of oil in doing this. 

Here’s how to do oil pulling:

  • Put 1-2 tablespoons of oil in your mouth
  • Swish the oil for 5-20 minutes
  • Spit the oil in the trash can (to avoid it hardening and clogging up your sink)
  • Rinse your mouth with water and sea salt
  • Brush your teeth

Take Note: Oil pulling should be done on an empty stomach to ensure maximum benefits. The best times to do this are upon waking up or before going to bed. 

If you are doing both oil pulling and tongue scraping, it is suggest you start with the oil pulling first.

Are you loving this article or you think it’s a bit too complicated for you? Try reading my previous article on Easy habits you can start for a better Lifestyle. Remember, we shouldn’t overwhelm ourselves doing anything. Life is too short not to do things with joy and happiness.

Let me know in the comments which new daily habits are you looking most likely to add to your current ones!

Easy to start habits for a better Lifestyle

We all hear that life is better lived if you live a Healthy Lifestyle. But how does one live a Healthy Lifestyle? How much does it cost? How much time does it require to do?

Great news folks! Adapting to a healthy lifestyle isn’t as hard as you think it is. You don’t even need to exert extra time for it. What you’ll need though is a hefty mind set to change. Adapting to this easy to follow great habits needs consistency.

Don’t worry much though. That’s why it’s called a habit. You make it your auto-pilot instead of the not-so-healthy lifestyle you’ve been currently having.

So here’s how you do it:

UPON WAKING, DRINK LEMON WATER. There’s tons of benefits you can get from doing this. You most probably will be drinking water when you wake up, so just squeeze some lemon and you’re good to go!

BEFORE EATING, DO DEEP BREATHING FOR 3 MINUTES. This helps flood your body with oxygen, which will inculcate the habit of mindful eating. Amazing right?!

EXERCISE 3-5 TIMES A WEEK. There’s always time to do this. Too busy with work? Use the stairs instead of the escalator on your way to work. Too busy with housework? Do some squats while waiting for the dinner to simmer. As I’ve told you, it’s the mindset that we need to twerk here. We always have time. It’s how we use it that makes a difference.

LAUGH UNTIL YOU ALMOST PEE YOUR PANTS. Have you noticed how you somehow lost that silly and giggly part of you as you grow old? Blame it to ever growing responsibilities that seemed to never end that’s put on our shoulders. Despite that fact, ensuring the child in us still remains, us laughing our hearts out, not only makes us feel younger but also makes life lived happier. There’s so much to be grateful and happy in life, so why not celebrate, right?!

FIND TIME TO DO SELF-CARE. You might be wondering how there isn’t any on the list yet that would cost you a leg or arm, then this comes up ,and you’re like, AHA! This surely would be expensive…try again! There’s much more Self-Care that you can do that won’t cost you anything at all. Meditate, go for a nature walk, stretch.

GO TO SLEEP AT THE SAME TIME EVERY NIGHT. Sleeping at the same time almost guarantees you to wake up at the same time as well. You do this in preparation for your next day. As our body clock recognises this cycle, it builds strong desire for sleep throughout wakefulness which makes you sleep better the following night. As this cycle continues, our body is able to have that full rest it needs which makes our body more alert and healthy.

STOP EATING 2 HOURS BEFORE BED. If we eat until before we sleep, we are making our body do overtime instead of it going for a rest just like we do. This results for us feel heavy and tired even upon waking up.

SET DAILY AFFIRMATIONS. Our mind is more powerful than we think it is. When our mindset is in its great disposition, you’re able to create better output in whatever you are doing. Your mood is better, you feel happier, and you are better to be with. Feeding your mind early in the morning helps make this happen. What’s great with this is that it doesn’t take much of your time to say or read an affirmation or two, so why not?!

Energy is endless. Too often we are depleting our energy because we are allowing people to take it away. Set healthy boundaries and feed your body with healthy food, water, and nutrients it so desperately needs and don’t forget to feed your mind too!

If you’re a mom, you might want to read this as it is made specifically for YOU!

Join our community and be one of the first to read my latest blogs! For daily positivity and Self-Care, you can follow my Instagram account @themommywithagoal.

Reasons why teaching kids not to whine is important

I recently watched this clip about #nowhiningwednesday where she made it into a challenge for herself (at first) and put into a jar a quarter every time she would whine, complain, or criticise. The results was so surprising cause she almost filled up half of the jar!

This got me excited!

As a mom with 2 virtually schooling kiddos, we don’t give money to our girls so just so it would be more fun for them, I put it into writing and made like a scoreboard. haha. These girls are truly competitive that they put so much effort to think before they act or talk. I tell you, our morning has been much much better that I’m so eager to buy some ice cream for snack later as a reward for ourselves.

On contrary, it’s not only the girls who’ve been showing some effort. I myself got some big realisations on how much I do whine as well. Well, not that vocal and showy like kiddos do when they have their tantrums of course, but with my thoughts?!!? oh gosh! Those silent, ugh!, huh!, and the list goes on.If you’re a parent, you know what I’m talking about.🤪

Have you tried this challenge already? I urge you to do so. If you’re an adult who just wants to do this alone, why not try doing it with the jar with loose coins! Not only would it help you realise how much whining/complaining you’ve been doing but you’ll also learn to be more mindful in the days to come. What’s more great about this is having that jar full of coins which you could either share(donate), save(for rainy days), or spend! Why not celebrate with some ice cream like us!

Here’s are more reasons why you should do this with your kids:

  1. You’ll learn to step back and try to look at the bigger picture before you act next time. This will help practice you to catch yourself on whining about things. You’ll get to be more mindful of your actions and find yourself doing the better option on doing things instead of simply whining about whatever that is.
  2. You’ll learn to look from within. Assess if there’s really an issue or something you need to address or its just a simple matter that just is a waste of time for you to think and whine about.
  3. You don’t need to be serious about this challenge. Nobody wants to do something that isn’t enjoyable. The key here is to be consistent on catching yourself from whining and hopefully in the process help you to lessen it. Not into collecting coins? How about the scoreboard like the girls and I are doing?
  4. As I’ve told you, this isn’t for you to feel being restrained from your but to make small changes daily. Knowing this, whining and complaining can’t really be instantly gone from your life. Knowing the right channel to do it while the habit is still within you is a great start. General rule, if it’s a private matter, don’t post it on social media.
  5. Finding the positive in every circumstance can be a great help in making this challenge a manageable one. There’s always a good part on everything despite not us always seeing it. That’s the catch! You need to find and see it!
  6. And last but not the least, practice gratitude. This is very very important. The more we realise how blessed and we are, the more we’ll find this challenge to be easier. Simply look around you and see how you’ve been praying for all those things to be in your life days/weeks/years ago yet, and here you are now! Why not enjoy it!

I hope you get to try this challenge and share your experience with me here in the comments or in my Instagram account @themommywithagoal where I share more positivity and Self-Care daily.

Know that you are enough, blessed, uniquely-made, and a great mom is important. Whining is simply a habit that we’ve all grown accustom to doing, that’s why we do it. Learn how to lessen self-doubt and increase confidence.

Learning more about how to be a Vegan

When it comes to transitioning your life for the better, you’d be surprised how an eye-opener it is as something as simple as a one word, “VEGAN” can have different meaning and specifications.

In my journey as an advocate for Self-Care in MommyWithAGoal, I’ve met a handful of great women who are vegan. Not a new thing right? While I might not be committing to being one anytime soon, it got me curious.

And guess what, there’s a whole Vegan world apparently! What’s amazing is that what my narrow mind knows about vegan such as someone who’ll only have salad all day, everyday, isn’t that at all. Just the thought of having salad every dinner makes me think twice already. Get me?! That’s how narrow-minded I was.

Let’s start with the misconception of vegan being the same as vegetarian. If this made you frown and read again what you just read just so you could understand clearly what I just said, then clearly, you’re at the same level as I am in knowing these things. haha! Not to worry though, we’ve got the internet to get more info.😆 To save you some research time, here’s the summary:

Vegans avoid consuming:

  • meat
  • poultry
  • fish and shellfish
  • eggs
  • dairy products
  • honey
  • insects
  • rennet, gelatin, and other types of animal protein
  • stock or fats that derive from animals

Vegetarians avoid consuming:

  • meat, such as beef, pork, and game
  • poultry, such as chicken, turkey, and duck
  • fish and shellfish
  • insects
  • rennet, gelatin, and other types of animal protein
  • stock or fats that derive from animal slaughter

However, do consume byproducts such as:

  • eggs
  • dairy products, such as milk, cheese, and yogurt
  • honey

Interesting right?? As simple as that, you’ve already gained more knowledge in a few seconds of reading! haha.. As this article focuses on being vegan, here’s what I found out on my research. There’s different kinds of Vegan! What I love about this is that realising that I can be a vegan too! Read along to know more if you can be too…

Kinds of Vegan

Dietary Vegan – No meat, dairy, or eggs; however, not focused on animal-free clothing or products

Ethical Vegan – No meat, diary, or eggs and avoids animal-based products like leather.

Green Vegan – Similar as an Ethical Vegan, but with a different reason: to reduce carbon footprint.

Raw Vegan – A strictly plant-based diet with food that hasn’t been cooked over 105-115F (40-14C).

Plant-based Vegan – No meat, diary, eggs, or processed foods.

VB6 – A strict vegan diet before 6pm, eats whatever they want (within moderation) after 6pm.

Paris Vegan – Eats vegan daily, but vegetarian when dining out or with friends/family.

Weekday/weekend vegan – Chooses specific days, such as weekdays or weekends, to avoid meat, dairy or eggs.

Virtually Vegan – No meat, and avoids dairy & eggs as much as possible.

Travel Vegan – Eats vegan diet daily, but experiments with local cuisine when traveling.

So there you have it! I hope this gives you a bit to think about your diet and how you consume food in general.

I’d like to end this article with a thought I just happened to have while writing this:

We consume food as it is a necessity, but what we forget to realise is the food our body needs isn’t based on the quantity for our body to function to its capacity but by the quality of food we intake. May this be an eye-opener for you, and me, to make wise food choices as we munch our way to living better and healthy.

Jeannine Paulsen Lirio-Javier, MommyWithAGoal

Learn more on how you can make wise food choices by not being fooled by “Healthy Disguised” food options you can find around.

Lastly, know that transitioning a lifestyle is a journey. It’s not like how Thanos does in the Marvel movie wherein in a snap, everything will change as you wish it would. It is important to enjoy the journey and have patience while doing it. Take it easy on yourself and until you reach your goal of being a Vegan.

It is also a big help you have a great support group which can guide and motivate you along the way.