Every mom’s with little ones Self-Care Secrets

Self-Care what?

I know and I understand the frustration moms feel when people say it’s just 5 or 10 minutes of your time. How hard could that be? Well, it’s pretty damn hard!

Being a mom myself, I have had my personal struggles. I’m not gonna lie I had an enormous help from our helper when my daughters was younger, specifically the first 4-5 years of their life. I was also working then so I’d say my motherhood experience during those times where quite easier. I remember my hubby and I could even go for movie date nights after the kids doze off cause there’s someone we trust that we could leave our babies with.

Two years ago though, that changed and though my daughters graduated those milk and diaper stage, them demand of attention from me haven’t changed. Add to that the pressure of needing to man a household isn’t for the faint hearted. The OC in me was pretty much challenged as tried my best to being into life the picture perfect home (squeaky clean and organised), happy kids, well-noticed hubby and a calm smiling mother who have time to manicure her nails.

Beep!Beep!Beep! There goes my alarm and I stop daydreaming.

Here’s the reality of the first few months of being a SAHM. We came back from vacation thinking we’ll just settle in our usual routine sans our helper only to find out that the owner of our rental have accepted an offer from a different lessee and we’ll have to vacate our unit in a month. So much for a great start! So there I was frantically boxing all our belongings, bringing and fetching the kids to school and trying to keep my household afloat. Not to mention my daughters ever helpful school schedule – my eldest going from 8am to 12nn while my youngest 1pm-4pm. Their school is merely a 15 minute walk and with small feet walking with me, that’s 30 minutes one way or about 2 hours gone from my hectic day.

This post isn’t about my complains though but just to emphasize that I am like any other mom who struggles but still found a way to find time for herself. Why? Because caring for yourself shouldn’t feel like more work. With a everyday being busy day, it’s important to learn how to incorporate self-care into your daily routine. How could that be possible? Read along ang realise how easy it could be done. You might be surprised you’re doing it already and just not being mindful of doing it. This may be the reason to why you don’t feel grateful for it.

Find joy in what you’re doing

Now this may vary as everyone has a different manner of finding joy. For some, it would their love for cooking while for others it could be exercising as a way to relax. No matter what makes you happy, then that’s the part in your routine that you need to focus on.

For me, it’s definitely cooking. That’s why I purposely cook when my kids are napping (when they were younger) or nowadays, that’s the time I allow screen time. I not only get 30 minutes or more of joyful time cooking and the kids as well have their happy time watching TV or using gadgets.

Photo: Amazon.sg

Don’t feel ashamed of letting your guard down for letting your children use gadgets/ watch TV (if you’re one of those parents who’s too conscious of doing so). Believe me, the return of giving yourself that small amount of time to do something you love “happily” (even if it’s technically a need to do so) would make big a difference in how your day would go.

Here’s why. You know you love cooking but whenever you cook, you have a child who cries nonstop begging for your attention. There’s two things that could happen.

  1. You get frustrated because you know for yourself that you want what you’re doing but you know your child wants you (hello Mom-guilt!).
  2. You give in to your child’s demands but can’t hide how annoyed you are for being defeated and not being able to do what you want (yes, you’re still human even if you’re a mom)

It doesn’t matter whichever you choose, both will result to both you and your child feeling bad at each other. Does it makes sense now?

Use screen time wisely

We live in the modern world and no matter we like it or not, technology would play a big part of our lives. If that’s the case, why not use it into good use right? Anyways, that’s one of the reasons why technology is continually being developed. It is to make our lives easier, not harder.

I think I’ve given a perfect example on how to use screen time wisely on earlier. Here’s another way of using it though. Let’s say you love exercising.

Why not let your kids join you enjoy the fun! There’s a lot of exercise game options nowadays and your kids won’t even notice you’re doing it. What’s great with this is not only that you’re able to do what makes you happy but you also slowly instil in your child the habit of exercising and who knows, with all that energy exhausted, you might even have some quiet time when they go for a nap an hour later. Cheers to that!

Here’s some of my favourite exercise that you can easily download in your Mobile Phone, Playstation or Nintendo Switch.

Mobile Games

FitForce

Platform/Equipment: iOS | Android | Windows PC
Price: Free 

Dungeon Runner

Platform/Equipment: IOS
Price: Free

Playstation

Beat Saber

Platform/Equipment: PlayStation 4 | Microsoft Windows | VR Headset

BoxVR

Platform/Equipment: PlayStation 4 | Microsoft Windows | VR Headset

Price: $26.03

Nintendo Switch

Just Dance

Platform/Equipment: Nintendo Switch | Nintendo Wii | Playstation 4 | Xbox 1 | Google Stadia

Price: $49.99

Zumba: Burn It Up

Platform/Equipment: Nintendo Switch

Price: $39.99

Have a routine

This is something I abide to even when I was still working. Back then, I would make sure to remind our helper to follow our routine. This allowed her to do house chores while not compromising the taking care of our two young daughters.

Now that I’m a full-time mom and my daughters are old enough to follow directions, life still haven’t been easy. hahaha…surprise!!! That’s part of parenthood maybe but having a routine that both you and your children mentally are programmed to do would help your day flow smoothly.

See here’s a sample routine me and my kids follow. I also added a blank one so you can easily print the template and customise yours.

Rest with your kids

Lastly, rest with your kids. No matter how much work you still have to do, make sure you rest within the day. Hey, mothers may be superheroes but we’re human too! It is only when you get to recover your strength that you’ll be able to do more. It may not give you more time to do things but know that its not always time we need to get things done but also how things is done.

Do you agree that a dish made with love tastes better than a dinner made half-hearted?

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Always remember to keep your cup full FIRST as that’s the only time you can give out your most!

xoxo,

TheMommyWithAGoal

Mom Hack: Respecting Time

Time is what we want the most, but what we use the worst. 
- William Penn

As a mother, there’s no doubt most of us would scream for more time to be able to do everything we want to do in 24 hours. This usually results feeling guilty of not being able to accomplish everything we have in mind to do that day. We think and think about it and couldn’t sleep. This only results to feeling sluggish the next day because lack of sleep. It’s not hard to guess what happens when this happens everyday and the stress accumulates. The feeling of something about to explode from the inside is something avoidable but most moms fall short in seeing it happen.

Does this sound like you? Have you been feeling stressed-out lately and things starts getting out of hand? Probably it’s time to set some Mom Boundaries to get back on track and be that confident mom again that you’ve are!

Here are some simple Mom Hacks to make more use of your time in a day and feel less stressed at the same time:

  1. Knowing your PRIORITIES. From the moment you wake up, you roughly know the things you need to do within the day. Making a “To-do list” can come in handy but if you aren’t keen in doing one, that’s okay. What’s important is having in mind a sense of which you priorities to do more on that particular day.

Is it paying your electric bill or dropping by to visit your long-time friend you haven’t seen in decades. Surely meeting up with your friend can be exciting but forgetting to pay your electric bill surely wouldn’t make anyone excited if you miss on doing. There’s nothing wrong in doing things you want to do as long as you know you’ve tick that things on your priority list first before having some fun. Now that’s what you call ‘adulting responsibility’!

2. Be realistic. Preparing your “to-do list” and knowing which one of it is your priority for the day wouldn’t serve its purpose if you don’t set a realistic time in doing them. Being mindful with your schedule is very important. Optimism doesn’t always work when you deal with time as time is definite and you can’t do much about it rather just need to learn to manage it wisely.

More often that not, listing things like going to the bank, getting some milk and bread, fetching the kids and paying the bills can seem like an easy-peasy task for your sooth-sailing afternoon and give you ample time to make dinner. Doing it in reality ain’t that easy though. Forgetting to account the queues in the bank and grocery and travel time going here could easily turn your seemingly uneventful afternoon haywire. You might even resort to ordering pizza on the way home just so you’ll have some dinner to feed you family by the time you arrive home!

3. Learn to adjust. You might have planned well how you want your day to be but as a mom, you’ll know that only change is constant. Trust that there will always be that tantrum that you can’t avoid or someone left at home some important project and you’ll need to turn around.

By knowing how to shuffle your priorities without ruining your mood and just accepting the fact that there’s really no perfect day in motherhood is the key. It’s all about knowing how to deal with change as and when it is needed. Being frustrated only makes you stress and not help you finish the tasks you want to do.

4. Mastering the art of time. Picking the most important task from your list, taking a deep breath and just start being busy doing it. At times, tasks doesn’t really need much time to do. It’s just that we get distracted most of the time while doing things. This results to spending more time than what we really needed.

Learning to time-block and concentrate on doing things in a short time (undisturbed) can usually do the trick. Use that phone-time to cook your 30-minute meal or write a blog. Your kids surely wouldn’t mind and you’ll also have you pockets of peace doing your thing.

Do you find this tips helpful? Comment below on other parenting advice you’d love to hear from.

xoxo,

Jeannine