A New Year, Are you ready for a New You??

I was quite hesitant to use this title because I don’t want to make misconceptions about this article, but why not??

Most of us associate New Year’s with hopes of being a new person. Not that we’re changing our faces or names but a new perspective in life. That’s what it should be actually as that’s how we should be doing each year.

But how do we change in just a day?? Well, it may not be as instant as what we are used to now a days but believe me, every little change you do in your life would matter if you just constantly do it everyday.

Reading a book per se is one way of doing it. This book I’ll recommend ain’t a new one. You might even heard it a lot of times already and even read it. If you had, then I hope you got the gist of it like I did and had your life transformed the way you want it. If not, then hang on for the ride! You’ll be reaching your own stars, just like how you’ve specifically wished for!

We are always told to as a child to dream. It’s the only thing everyone can do, no matter what circumstance in life we’re in now, that’s sky’s the limit! Cause why not, it’s your dream and all you’ll need is your imagination, mind, and yourself. It something personal where you don’t need to think of what others dream of, just yours. You don’t care how you’ll be able to reach them or what does it takes you to reach them.

Well, that’s how The Secret by Rhonda Byrne has influenced my life since 2008 when my then bf-now hubby gave me as a Christmas gift. I can still vaguely remember that scene where he send me off in the bus terminal as I made my way back home to the province to celebrate Christmas with my family. He gave me the book in a sealed small paper bag.

photo from Amazon

I’m not the kind of person who loves receiving gifts actually as I’m not a gift giver as well. haha. (I’m just a fair person) so when he gave his gift as a surprise, all I can give in return is a kiss and hug. haha! As the bus left the terminal and I was left alone, I hurriedly opened his gift. Not knowing to expect, I was actually surprised he gave me a book. haha.

First of all, he’s a self-confessed NOT-A-BOOK person. The only books he read are those school books required when he’s still studying. Second is the title of the book, The Secret. Daunting for me when I saw it first not knowing what it is about. I haven’t heard of this book before despite loving to read books (my dad’s book collection which are the ones I usually read are actually more of the 90s famous thriller ones John Grisham kind) So having this kind of Self-development book is such a new thing for me and thrilled to have it!

My 1.5 hr trip went so quick as I got too engrossed with the book. I actually almost missed my stop! haha.. As I finished the last few pages at home, I knew it would be our topic in messages as talk back and forth throughout the holidays while we spend our time with our own families.

As the New Year of 2009 came in, we knew that our lives would be turned around. Yes! You know that inner confidence you didn’t knew you had inside and the fears of uncertainty quietly slips under the bed, too shy to come out due to your overwhelming attraction of the universe that doesn’t want me/us to be stopped.

Truly enough, our lives was turned upside down that year as despite the world going through recession that time, we braved our way to finding new and better life adventures and career. That’s been almost 10 years ago and loaded with tons of mostly highs and some lows in life, we got married, had 2 beautiful daughters, and have quitted my 9-5 job to have more time taking care of our family. Despite the very high cost of living here in Singapore, I can say that we’re among the blessed ones to be living beyond what our dreams could imagine as a single income family.

As I learned the the twist and turns of managing wisely my time as a Stay-At-Home-Mom, I now devote my time to something I advocate the most, Self-Care. As a matter of fact, I just surpassed a dream of mind that I’ve been having for sometime, read more on my last article, on how I Shared A Christmas. Okay, too much storytelling and back to this book review.

This book had made waves when it came our in the early 2000’s. A Self-help book that’s been too much talked about that they even made it into a film/ short documentary. Find any coach or mentor that advocates on self-development and they’ll surely include this book on one of your must-read.

This book focuses on the Law of Attraction and helps you change the mindset most of us grew up believing in as that’s what the society feeds us. The title “The Secret” is so captivating that it makes anyone who sees it wonder what could be in it. As a human, we all got the urge to be more curious on things especially if it’s said as a secret, don’t we. That’s the catch!

This empowering book encourages everyone to visualise themselves reaching whatever their hearts desires. It gives you that boost of motivation you’ve never even though you’ve have in the first place which makes it amazing. You just go with the flow of life as the universe seems to always be at your side making you afloat nearer and nearer to your goals, one at a time.

What I love about this though is despite it encouraging you to reach your goals, it’s strategically done the “good way”. You know, not those easy money thing or those that lead you to the wrong direction of life just to attain material wealth.

The principle you attract through the learnings you get gravitates you to give back more to others, find gratitude in small and big wins that come your way, and mainly to focus your energy to a mindset that makes you think of the good things despite any hurdles that come your way. As they say, life can be full of bumps and it’s only the way you react on every bump that makes a difference.

With this kind of mindset, no matter what circumstance is thrown into your life, you’ll always find the good on it and eventually you’ll find yourself in a good place no matter what. And you know what happens when you’re in that good disposition in life?? You do good too! So there’s no way any minute of your life would go wasted on things you’ll spend your time now and regret afterwards.

With all the great things I have to say to this book, I must also mention one controversy this book had been hit the most. Yes, I’m talking about its religious beliefs. My take on that would be from a perspective of a person who lived in Singapore, one of the most multi-cultural countries in the world, for about a decade. There’s nothing respect on each other’s belief that can’t be settled and have peace on.

Singaporeans who’s composed of 3 major nationalities, Chinese, Indians, and Malay. All of them having different beliefs and totally different cultures. But hey, see how Singapore prospers? How do they show respect to each other? Well, simply giving way to each other’s needs. Let’s take holidays and festivities for example. We all celebrate and enjoy Chinese New Year, Eid al-Fitr, Diwali, and Christmas. How cool is that!

So that’s it! If you are looking for a great book to read and am thinking to turn your life for the better this 2022, I truly recommend The Secret by Rhonda Byrne.

A Happy New Year to all!!

This post is a part of Book Marathon 2022 by https://outsetbooks.com

Tips on how to Maintain Mental Wellness

Have you owned a car or bike or anything that needs maintenance for it to function longer and utilise it to its maximum usage. That may be an easy thing to do guaranteed you own whatever that thing that you have that needs maintenance, how about you don’t?

I’m asking as you might be reading this article without even knowing the how your Mental Health is. This isn’t shocking as we mostly want to be ahead of things that we sometimes forget the basic things that needed to be acknowledged first. Read more about Why Mental Health is Important here.

Having your Mental Wellness well taken care of is especially in this trying times is essential. It is needed so you can be more productive in your work which mainly is your bread and butter to have the basic needs to live. Without you being able to function well at work, you won’t be able to earn and buy the things you need.

Unfortunately, living a good life isn’t only about having material things you need at hand. Life can be full of trials no matter how rich or broke you are and no matter what circumstance in life you are in. It is important to know that being able to cope with these challenges that you need to face is part of your mental wellness as well.

But how do you make sure your mind is in good disposition? Here are some tips to help you maintain your Mental Wellness:

It pays to Plan your day well

All of us are given 24 hours in a day to do the things we need as well as rest. Your productivity always rely on how you plan your day. It doesn’t matter whether you are a SAHM, working mom, single mom–everyone of us have responsibilities and its up to us how we use our time wisely to be able to cope and deliver with them all.

It’s important to have a plan listed down whether in a planner, normal paper or on your phone’s notes. It keeps you organised and keeps you from forgetting things to do.

Another is to be mindful of your actions. If you really want to finish a lot in a day, and tick as much as you can from your phone, the maiana habit won’t be helpful. Acting head-on on your plans is the way to go.

Lastly, comparing to others your progress. Not only does it not help you in any way to do what you need to do, it also lowers your self-confidnece instead of being grateful for the small achievements you’ve done.

Have a break

As much as you want to maximise your time to be able to do more, know that you’re human and you need rest. Believe it or not, this won’t hurt your time table but instead give you the boost you need to finish more than you anticipate.

Practice a Healthy Lifestyle

No matter what type of job you’ll need an able body to function. By eating healthy and doing exercise, you’ll be assured to have a body that’s strong enough to withstand any type of job you do.

Positive Mindset

Life may be full of challenges but it’s how we react to every circumstances in life that differs. Having a positive disposition in life not only helps you lessen the stress but also gives you the advantage to be more of who you really are. Procrastinating over something you don’t have any control with is just a waste of time.

This proven study is true that even Mental Institutions like this one in Singapore concur on it.

I hope you find these tips helpful in maintaining your Mental Wellness. Remember that you are important and you must make time for you. It’s only when your cup is full that you can give more to your love ones.

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Stay Safe!

Are you unintentionally sabotaging your way to healthy lifestyle?

First thing you might have noticed is the use of this phrase “way to healthy lifestyle” instead of just saying diet. Well, it’s because that’s what this blog wants you to have instead of just a fad diet you’ll do for a month or so and then go back to your old ways of adding more to your waist line.

Being a mother of 2 girls, currently 6 and 7 years old, I’ve struggled and still on my way to where I want my body to be. Having the girls also made me realise how I should change my way of doing things.

Backstory: I’ve always have this petite body growing up. My parents actually had a hard time putting some meat on me. My relatives would often joke them to feed me well. haha..I guess they felt offended in a way (especially my mom!) that’s why they would use that 2 months school vacation we spend in Japan every year to at least make me look plump. (yes, I love Japanese food and still do!) It was up until I was in college that I could do those one day no rice thing whenever I felt fat and got a “big” belly then the next morning, it would be flat again.

So that’s my backstory and if you could have any takeaways on it, I hope it could be not to force your child to eat. Let them grow at their own pace. As long as you know they’re getting the right nutrients in their body, they are good. A plump looking child doesn’t always mean healthy.

Most women struggle with weight issues after giving birth. No wonder there’s tons and tons of products you can buy to lose weight. Others ever resort to going under the knife just to bring back that youthful look.

But do we really need to struggle that much? Don’t we have enough struggles dealing with life responsibilities that we really need to add more to it instead of being contented with a functioning body that we already have? Answering as a human, the answer to that is a simple “NO!”

We all have the freedom to choose how we want to deal with our body issues but I hope you choose the one that could inspire the children you’re raising (and idolise you) and the one that could last in long term.

A healthy lifestyle is always the way to go! That means choosing the right food to eat and the way you life which we could talk about in another article.

For now, let’s talk about how you could potentially sabotage whatever diet/ way you’re doing to address your weight issues. Here are simple ways you could do to somehow make your way to losing weight a lifestyle that you could live on.

1. Do not watch cooking shows at night

Most of us grown this habit of watching TV at bed as a way to make us sleep. As unhealthy as it is to having a sound sleep that’s how it is (we do that too!haha). Anyways, don’t make our unhealthy habits worst by watching cooking shows. There’s tons of shows you could watch, pick anything aside from something that would make you crave and feel hungry.

The worst thing you want to do at 10pm is to grab your phone and have some food delivered in the middle of the night just because of sudden cravings. Not only is the food you for sure ordered (more or less from a fast food) not good for your body but you’re also not supposed to eat at least 4 hours before sleeping to have a sound sleep.

Then you complain you’re too tired when waking up?! Com’n! You are the only one in control of your body, whatever output it gives is because of the input that you do to it. Be mindful of your actions.

2.Not drinking enough water

This is one thing I still have a hard time doing till this day. Quite puzzling I know, especially if your know that I’ve lived my entire life in tropical countries, which is supposed to make me feel thirsty all the time. Well, not the case for me.

This bad habit even threatened my first pregnancy when my amniotic fluid was too low for the number of weeks I’m in my pregnancy. This could have been prevented by just drinking more water. (I tried, okay!)

Nowadays, I have my good and bad days. Good ones are when I’m able to refill my 1 L personal water bottle by mid-day. Bad days are when I only remember about my water bottle when the sun is about to set. 🤦‍♀️ Yes, I could be that bad in drinking water.

When it comes to losing weight, water intake has a big role. Not only would it help you feel hydrated throughout the day but it could also eliminate potential misleading hunger signals.

3.Doing grocery when hungry

This one is a common one and you might have heard of it already but let’s still add it here to set as a reminder.

Grocery shopping comes in hand with losing weight or making your way to a healthier lifestyle. Even if you don’t cook at home, you more or less still drop by a grocery store to buy food. Mindfully making the right food choices to support the lifestyle that you want to entail is crucial.

When you go grocery shopping with an empty stomach, you tend to pick up more food that your body don’t need. Grocery shops intentionally place their goods according to marketing strategies and if you aren’t mindful enough, you’ll fall to those traps easily.

Not only would the food you buy those that aren’t good for your body, you might end up buying too much as well than what you intended.

4. Starving yourself

Common misconception to weight issues is blamed on food. Poor food. All it wanted is to help your body have the energy it needs to function well.

Even if you buy the best car you could find in the planet won’t last long just because of gas. It needs maintenance in its interior and exterior. It needs its battery to be changed, oil to be refilled, wheels, clutch, etc. What I’m trying to say is nothing in the world functions at its best if you just focus in one thing. There’s much more that you need to consider for it to function to its full potential.

Same goes with weight issues. Society makes us believe that the main reason why we have this weight issues is because we eat too much. Is it really? Think well. Do you think with starving yourself, you’ll be able to function well mentally and physically?

If there’s something you should be thinking of food is gratification. With all the people who are hungry, you’re one of the blessed ones and here you are complaining about it. Am I lecturing that much already?haha

My point is, food is not to blame but the other factors in life that you “might” fail to do that causes your weight issues. Do you exercise? Even a 10 minute walk is a great habit. Yes! A 10 minute walk which passes by so quickly when you scroll in social media.

Another is mindful eating. Do you give much thought of the food you eat or you just gobble up your food to get full and get going with life? Treating food as a fuel for your body can be helpful.

I hope I get you thinking this 3 questions before you eat every meal:

a)Does it contain enough protein to keep my body able to carry my growing baby for hours?

b)Did I got too much carbohydrates which transforms to energy for the kind of day I’ll be having today (more of sit in front of computer)?

c)Do I have enough vegetable/ fruits in my plate that would provide my body the vitamins it needs for my activities today?

There you have it! Food is important, don’t skip it!

5. Having a cheat day

As a continuation of my long dialogue(haha earlier~moms are naturally a chatterbox indeed!), food is important for your body. But if you insist on indulging on those crazy/fad diets, then be my guest!

I’m sure the term cheat day isn’t new to you. It isn’t to me either. The problem with this is you starve and try to be at your best eating behaviour for 6 days a week only to sabotage it on your cheat day! How amazing!

Isn’t that ridiculous! I know most of you would react saying that 6 days worth of eating healthy would make-up for a day of unhealthy eating. Would it? Technically yes, but mentally, NO!

It’s like teasing yourself every healthy eating day until when could you do it. Would you really like that pressure every time you eat? Eating should be done with pleasure, not with stress.

Why not indulge on cheat meal instead? This way, you won’t crave for certain food and you’ll know that you still are able to replenish your body with healthy food “within the day” for the crap you ate earlier.

Having a healthy body is part of Self-Care. Whether it comes to food intake or exercising to keep your body fit, to the vitamins you should take to keep your body to its optimum level, all of those are important. Love the body that you have cause like life, you only got one. You need to keep up with it no matter what you do so do well to it, so it would do well to you.

I hope you share your takeaways in this article to inspire more moms! And if you happen to still not join our tribe, make sure to do so! You can also follow me in Instagram @themommywithagoal for daily inspirational message!