Money they say is the root of all evil. It also can lead to a lot of arguments and disagreements. oh I can see all those nods from couples who just had some heated discussion about money with their spouse/partner.
All this negativity can be avoided though. If you think of it, money can also help ignite that love between couples. With money, you could go on a date, go on a fun family trip, be able to give gifts to each other, etc.
Now, money becomes a positive thing that you would want to be in your family. That’s the first lesson I want you to get from this article. It starts with your mindset.
MINDSET
Before getting married, you used to be on your own. You think the way you are depending on your upbringing, experiences, and learnings you’ve picked up along the way. Your decision making when it comes to money is put into test but since you’re still on your own, you can pretty much do about it. All the consequences, good or bad, also falls back to your shoulders.
Then marriage comes. Your mindset when it comes to money can be totally different from your spouse. You can be stingy with your dollar while your other half don’t mind at all spending every dollar on things that gives him/her happiness.
That’s where arguments, disagreements, and at times (or should I say, most of the times) hurtful and unintended words is said. And what has money have to do with that??NOTHING!
It’s a thing that comes and goes depending on how you manage it. Your mindset comes to play with it and since you’re in a marriage, your mindset needs to be at sync with each other.
I guarantee you that when your minds are in sync with where you want to put your money on, you’ll have better conversations about money, work your asses to earn more money, save some, get to enjoy your hard earned money on the things you love, and watch your money grow with the investments you put your money in.
Let’s not make this blog so much flowery good though. Of course, there are the expenses. Bills to be paid, debt for some, unexpected expenses, etc. This may be an outflow of your money which some may think as a bad thing but if you’re in good terms with your spouse/partner with money, everything will be accounted for and you’ll have a better picture of where your money goes.
This saves both of you from senseless arguments about money as your proof of where it went is as clear as water can be. Instead, you’ll have better appreciation of the hard work you’ve been doing as it had saved you from stressing out about money.
And you know when positivity is in your home, everything, including MONEY, flows in seamlessly! Who doesn’t want that?!
GET INVOLVED
This may be a no-brainer but I might as well mention it too. It takes two to tango. Same as how you set your money goals. When both of you are in sync with your budgeting and goals, you’ll know how to act even without your partner beside you.
You don’t need to have your partner around to keep your sight straight while walking through the mall to do some grocery when you happen to pass by your favourite shop on sale. Your partner would know he doesn’t need to compete with his buddies who had upgraded their TV to the latest model where you can see even the pores of those people you watch with it.
You’ll know because you’ll have that discipline within you. You’ll know because you’re working with your spouse towards something greater for both of you to enjoy. You’ll know because you have that much respect with each other to honour each other’s words and have self-control.
GOALS
Being blessed to be in a marriage with my amazing hubby for a decade already, I can tell you, this is the most amazing part! Planning on your goals, working on it, and achieving them one by one knowing both of you have worked so hard for it is an incomparable feeling of achievement because you know you’ve done it with your better half. And that’s an amazing thing!
I understand this isn’t for everyone as there’s other couples who are better managing each other’s finances individually while still having a happy marriage. That’s great! But this is for the majority who goes with the traditional way of joining everything they have after they got married and gets the surprise of their life knowing how the other handles their money. YIKES!
I hope this quote I’m leaving you with helps.
This blog post is part of the blog challenge ‘Blogaberry Dazzle’ hosted by Cindy D’Silva and Noor Anand Chawla in collaboration with Baked Happily Ever After
22 responses to “Ways to keep Money Problems out of your Marriage”
An interesting subject. Fortunately, my husband and I have never argued about money. I think there are two reasons – as he is the primary breadwinner, I respect his allocation of our family budget and never question it. Secondly, I earn for myself so I don’t feel dependent on him and this also gives me my freedom to spend on things of my choice which he may not approve of. Hence, he never questions where I spend my money on. I think these two fundamental steps can alleviate a lot of family distress regarding finances.
I am from the previous generation and I regret not having any clue about our finances. I was clueless and got duped by my family when he passed away. Money talk is the most important in a couple’s life.
Money is one of the most sensitive topics in a marriage. I’ve heard of so many stories where women have not taken a stand in financial matters and how that has spoiled their relationship with their in-laws. Hopefully there’ll be greater awareness and acknowledgement of these points soon
Money is a touchy topic when it comes to relationships. There should be open conversations about it leaving nothing to assumptions.
This is a very important thing to consider in any married couple. We had our fair share of arguments initially, but then we decided to set a monthly budget for our expenditures apart from the fixed monthly ones. It has helped a lot.
Money is important and so is it’s management. With good planning and understanding couples can ensure a secure future along with luxury and a good lifestyle.
Thankfully and touchwood we have never had an argument on money. We both are earning and we both communicate with each other what are the needs and wants. We have mutually set a budget and when emergency expenses crop up we manage it together. Setting goals is very very important as stated by you.
Oh, and it creates a problem in many marriages when one spouse earns and the other spends.
We should Set aside some time to talk about money with our partner using #RealMoneyTalk.
Money can be a deal breaker but yes with right mindset as you mentioned can make things much easier and smoother. Thouch wood we are sorted in this front as we have same goals.
At many circumstances money creates the problems. If that problem is kept out then almost it will be a smooth flow.
I always believe that you should be the master of money and not let it be the master of you. You have shared some really good tips. It is best to talk about finances and expenses openly.
Jeannine, I am so happy to know that you have a healthy relationship with your hubby in this aspect. What you have written about is true cuz I know money can really cause problems in relationships. It is imp for every couple to find a way thay suits both of them n balances the equation.
Very well written. Earlier we used to have a lots of issue on money because earning one person and spending others. As a newly married both partner have different opinion and upbringing. Slowly we learned a lot and now able to manage it very well
Money money oh money …. if you are managed well you are HONEY. See what I believe is that being independent and earning is important for all be it husband or wife. When one earns then only understands the pain when money outflows for various reasons. Or else earning other and spending by us will not make us realize the importance of earning. We have a very good honey money relation with each other
I do agree with you. In many cases it creates a problem when one earns and other spends. In our marriage, we both discuss monthly budget, goals and priorities and no problem happens in our case.
Oh money!The mindset is everything. I have had my share of arguments and now we have set limits for avoiding trouble spots.Thats crucial to help each of us stay sane as well as grow together
I do agree with you. I have seen relations where the couple is either earning or non earning and still have fights on the silliest thing. Irrespective of the fact that their such small fights can cause disbalance in relationships
I do agree with you. I have seen relations where the couple is either earing or non earing and still have fights on the silliest thing. Irrespective of the fact that their such small fights can cause disbalance in relationships
Well wrote.. Money is a two face element, it brings comfort and discomfort both in any relationship. And as you mentioned mindset play a important role to handle this. Thanks for sharing these important points.
In our case, there never was any problem. I had made it clear right in the beginning… My money is MY money, and my husband’s money is OUR money. Since 30 years we have been following this and it helps as since my money doesn’t go into expenditure it is our savings on top of what my husband saves.
Mindset is very important. Mostly with the wring mindset, money seep into marriages and destroy it badly. As you said the goals are also important
Oh yeah, in many marriages it creates a problem when one is earner and other is spender. In our marriage, we both are financially independent and every couple should be. They should discuss monthly budget, goals and priorities. Then no problem happens.