Emotional, Personal

Proven tips on how to lessen self-doubt and increase confidence

It’s been a long battle over gender equality and even though the gap between access to opportunities and power have had a big improvement since years before, we all know that in the real world, women have still a lot to catch up, not only because the laws have changed or society have been more welcoming but it’s because of our nature as a women itself.

Let’s face it, if we want something, we also have to “man-up”, don’t we? Unfortunately, most women fall short on this expectation. A perfect example for this was from a Forbes article where it states a compelling statistic from a Hewlett Packard internal report stating: Men apply for a job when they meet only 60% of the qualifications, but women apply only if they meet 100% of them.

So, is it gender equality the only problem or we ourselves need to change if we want to have more slices of the cake? I for sure have no doubt women can do more, we just need more…encouragement and believe more on our capabilities.

Most women, especially after having children tend to forget about their ambition and dreams as if their children won’t be growing up and having lives of their own then leave them, what??? Not knowing who they really are already because they’ve grown into this mom who’s main purpose of living is their children.

I’m not in any way telling you to abandon your responsibilities as a parent to chase for your dreams, but simply to take time also for yourself and not to swallow your own identity while you’re still alive. No matter if you’re a working mom or a SAHM, you can still find time for yourself, to reflect, be internally happy and by any means, continue with a hobby you once loved.

With Self-Care in mind, here’s some tips on how to simply let go of those insecurities you have and hesitations you might have inside you and just go for the things you love doing and find yourself and be “YOU” once again!

Note: Every tip will have a particular example for both working mom and SAHM, cause, why not?!

5 Second Rule

Working Mom: Have you been in a meeting and you’ve been itching to ask something you know is relevant enough but suddenly you can’t find your tongue for some reason for you to talk?? Well, we’ve all been there. Keep your calm, count to yourself 5..4..3..2.. and blurt it out. (well, raise your hand first of course🤪)

No matter how the outcome of your message would be, well, at least you’ve put it out from your chest and able to tick that one out from your mind instead of thinking about it till dinner time and wonder what the answer could be if you only had the courage to talk. Believe in yourself, you can do it!😉

SAHM: It’s been two years since I’ve shifted careers and I can tell you how difficult it was for me and my ego to talk freely at home. Not that my hubby was authoritative or anything, he’s the opposite actually and always reminds me that his earnings is mine as well, but just the thought of me “not working as what society dictates” made me so so conscious about it. So this feelings was pretty much prevalent especially when it comes to purchasing things.

Anyways, it took me a long time and tons of practice doing the 5 Second Rule before I could over come those inner doubts within me and know that I’m worthy of our household’s earnings and that I can feel at ease purchasing things that I want, same as before. Nowadays, whenever those doubts creeps back, I simply count to myself, 5..4..3..2..then I go head on whatever it is that I feel I want to say or do.

Do not strive for perfection

Working Mom: I guess there’s no better example for this than the statistics from Hewlett Packard earlier. If you want to climb that career ladder, then don’t wait for you to be 100% sure that you’re ready for the new role. You’ll learn things along the way, but before you could do that, you need to do the first move first and gather that courage to apply.

SAHM: There’s no doubt having a squeaky clean home has been one thing in your checklist everyday that you miss to tick. Well, with kids and all, what do you expect. Except of course when your MIL is coming, then you do that extra effort of making sure your home is tidy but for everyday, let’s not not be fooled by what you see in Social Media. It’s all been staged!!!

There’s no need add more pressure to your tired body for not being able to make your home look like a showroom at IKEA. As long as you can prepare food on time, been able to wash and put back clothes in drawers before the last shirt is used, then you’re good to go! Don’t take those too literally though, what I meant was as long as your home looks like a human stays in it, then you’re all good!

Your kids would love you to spend time with them playing instead of seeing you scrub floors then eventually screaming at them for spilling juice over. I’m sure you won’t hear a word from your hubby either as he’ll take that rather than you ranting every night how tiring your day have been. And last but not the least, your body would thank you more than ever for taking care of yourself. Prioritising yourself rather than how your home looks like is the best thing you could give yourself. So chill, relax and have a good time!

Learn from mistakes

Working Mom: We all mistakes and even though your company pays you, know that they’re well aware they hire a human who are compelled to make mistakes. What’s important though is we acknowledge the mistakes, review our failures and learn from them so as not to make the same mistake again.

Thinking too much about that single mistake and contemplating about it too much can hurt your self-esteem. Instead of being able to excel and show off what you’ve got on other tasks, you’ll feel timid instead.

SAHM: Parenthood doesn’t come with a manual. There isn’t any right or wrong parent in the world and mostly, each parent’s action is based on pure love and instincts. Mistakes are therefore inevitable but know that along the way, you’re learning and you just need to trust on yourself.

I hope these tips go a long way for you as it did for me. Know that each one of us has been born with skills we’ll need to live and expected to use for the good. Keeping them to yourself just because of self-doubt is just unfathomable.

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14 thoughts on “Proven tips on how to lessen self-doubt and increase confidence

  1. Love the way you have explained,Every detail about it,self care is a must for every mom. Be firm and be confident with yourself.

  2. Very thoughtfully written. Decreasing self doubt and increasing confidence go hand in hand. I feel loving yourself for who you are is the key to confidence.

  3. You have explained well from both perspectives of working mom and stay at home mom. We often tend to get in the cycle of perfection which causes a lot of stress, we need stop stressing ourselves and just do our best.

  4. Leaving the perfectionist tag has helped me too to overcome the self doubt and being guilt free in the mother hood journey. Shall apply the 5 second rule also in life :))

  5. I have come on your website for the first time but loved it a lot while reading this post. As being a SAHM for 4 years, I have recently started with a full-time job and have been through both the sides of emotions described by you in this post of a working mother and a SAHM.

  6. Loved the ways you have explained the topic from the viewpoint of both working mom and SAHM; this makes it an interesting read.

  7. Beautiful write up written by you, I agree we learn from our mistakes and there is nothing like perfection in anyone’s life. Parenting is based on love care and trust

  8. Wow this is so amazing post and well writing article. I really liked it. I am happy you shared that Proven tips on how to lessen self-doubt and increase confidence. I will gonna try it. Thanks for sharing.

  9. Wow loved your write up and you have explained everything so well from both point of view ( working mom and stay at home mom). yes, I agree we should not aim for striving perfection in life. being progressive and learn from mistakes are two important thing that can lessen self doubt and increase self confidence,

  10. Those are the exact thoughts many moms experience. Each one of us have their own share of challenges and we have our own ways to handle it. But one thing we all should keep in mind is our sanity is very important in order to maintain a healthy environment at home and also to feel good from within.

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