Self-Care what?
I know and I understand the frustration moms feel when people say it’s just 5 or 10 minutes of your time. How hard could that be? Well, it’s pretty damn hard!
Being a mom myself, I have had my personal struggles. I’m not gonna lie I had an enormous help from our helper when my daughters was younger, specifically the first 4-5 years of their life. I was also working then so I’d say my motherhood experience during those times where quite easier. I remember my hubby and I could even go for movie date nights after the kids doze off cause there’s someone we trust that we could leave our babies with.
Two years ago though, that changed and though my daughters graduated those milk and diaper stage, them demand of attention from me haven’t changed. Add to that the pressure of needing to man a household isn’t for the faint hearted. The OC in me was pretty much challenged as tried my best to being into life the picture perfect home (squeaky clean and organised), happy kids, well-noticed hubby and a calm smiling mother who have time to manicure her nails.
Beep!Beep!Beep! There goes my alarm and I stop daydreaming.
Here’s the reality of the first few months of being a SAHM. We came back from vacation thinking we’ll just settle in our usual routine sans our helper only to find out that the owner of our rental have accepted an offer from a different lessee and we’ll have to vacate our unit in a month. So much for a great start! So there I was frantically boxing all our belongings, bringing and fetching the kids to school and trying to keep my household afloat. Not to mention my daughters ever helpful school schedule – my eldest going from 8am to 12nn while my youngest 1pm-4pm. Their school is merely a 15 minute walk and with small feet walking with me, that’s 30 minutes one way or about 2 hours gone from my hectic day.
This post isn’t about my complains though but just to emphasize that I am like any other mom who struggles but still found a way to find time for herself. Why? Because caring for yourself shouldn’t feel like more work. With a everyday being busy day, it’s important to learn how to incorporate self-care into your daily routine. How could that be possible? Read along ang realise how easy it could be done. You might be surprised you’re doing it already and just not being mindful of doing it. This may be the reason to why you don’t feel grateful for it.
Find joy in what you’re doing
Now this may vary as everyone has a different manner of finding joy. For some, it would their love for cooking while for others it could be exercising as a way to relax. No matter what makes you happy, then that’s the part in your routine that you need to focus on.
For me, it’s definitely cooking. That’s why I purposely cook when my kids are napping (when they were younger) or nowadays, that’s the time I allow screen time. I not only get 30 minutes or more of joyful time cooking and the kids as well have their happy time watching TV or using gadgets.
Don’t feel ashamed of letting your guard down for letting your children use gadgets/ watch TV (if you’re one of those parents who’s too conscious of doing so). Believe me, the return of giving yourself that small amount of time to do something you love “happily” (even if it’s technically a need to do so) would make big a difference in how your day would go.
Here’s why. You know you love cooking but whenever you cook, you have a child who cries nonstop begging for your attention. There’s two things that could happen.
- You get frustrated because you know for yourself that you want what you’re doing but you know your child wants you (hello Mom-guilt!).
- You give in to your child’s demands but can’t hide how annoyed you are for being defeated and not being able to do what you want (yes, you’re still human even if you’re a mom)
It doesn’t matter whichever you choose, both will result to both you and your child feeling bad at each other. Does it makes sense now?
Use screen time wisely
We live in the modern world and no matter we like it or not, technology would play a big part of our lives. If that’s the case, why not use it into good use right? Anyways, that’s one of the reasons why technology is continually being developed. It is to make our lives easier, not harder.
I think I’ve given a perfect example on how to use screen time wisely on earlier. Here’s another way of using it though. Let’s say you love exercising.
Why not let your kids join you enjoy the fun! There’s a lot of exercise game options nowadays and your kids won’t even notice you’re doing it. What’s great with this is not only that you’re able to do what makes you happy but you also slowly instil in your child the habit of exercising and who knows, with all that energy exhausted, you might even have some quiet time when they go for a nap an hour later. Cheers to that!
Here’s some of my favourite exercise that you can easily download in your Mobile Phone, Playstation or Nintendo Switch.
Mobile Games
Platform/Equipment: iOS | Android | Windows PC
Price: Free
Platform/Equipment: IOS
Price: Free
Platform/Equipment: PlayStation 4 | Microsoft Windows | VR Headset
Platform/Equipment: PlayStation 4 | Microsoft Windows | VR Headset
Price: $26.03
Platform/Equipment: Nintendo Switch | Nintendo Wii | Playstation 4 | Xbox 1 | Google Stadia
Price: $49.99
Platform/Equipment: Nintendo Switch
Price: $39.99
Have a routine
This is something I abide to even when I was still working. Back then, I would make sure to remind our helper to follow our routine. This allowed her to do house chores while not compromising the taking care of our two young daughters.
Now that I’m a full-time mom and my daughters are old enough to follow directions, life still haven’t been easy. hahaha…surprise!!! That’s part of parenthood maybe but having a routine that both you and your children mentally are programmed to do would help your day flow smoothly.
See here’s a sample routine me and my kids follow. I also added a blank one so you can easily print the template and customise yours.
Rest with your kids
Lastly, rest with your kids. No matter how much work you still have to do, make sure you rest within the day. Hey, mothers may be superheroes but we’re human too! It is only when you get to recover your strength that you’ll be able to do more. It may not give you more time to do things but know that its not always time we need to get things done but also how things is done.
Do you agree that a dish made with love tastes better than a dinner made half-hearted?
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Always remember to keep your cup full FIRST as that’s the only time you can give out your most!
xoxo,
TheMommyWithAGoal
11 responses to “Every mom’s with little ones Self-Care Secrets”
Your absolutely right, self care is not selfish in fact its absolutely necessary to show up as your best self for everyone around you – thanks for the great tips:)) Nari
These little ones are treasures and it is important to know the importance of things that they want. Such an insightful article to boost the needs of little ones.
Couldn’t agree more.. Selfcare is much needed and not at all selfish… Every mom should consider the above points and spend some time with herself…
Great post! every mom should consider following the above pointers, as a mom, we forget to prioritize ourselves, we consider only kids and husband’s smooth functioning routine, we take stress as our reward.
Well said !!! I am glad you have metioned that Every mom’s with little ones Self-Care Secrets. Mom is very important. Mom always manage. Very nice information and amazing post…
Oh, I can relate with this, but yes agree, Self Love is a must. And yes a dish made with love tastes better than a dinner made half-hearted. Just grabbed a cheese toast with tea for me while reading this… Mommy to Me time…
I totally agree with your blog Jeannine, being a mom is not an easy job to handle. Self care is a must for everyone. It’s a necessity. Really appreciate your efforts for getting all the information contained in this blog. Looking forward for your more blogs.
Such a meaningful and good quality post you shred with all of us. I appreciate the way you penned down the same
Totally agree that we need to make sure we make time for self care despite all the other demands on our time. Because a happy mommy means happy kids!
Agree self care is not selfish. taking out time for doing things you love give you an extra boost to your energy and it also help in keeping mood positive. by taking out this time, you become refreshed and able to re join on your duties and responsibilities with less stress.
Well said. Self care isn’t selfish it all and everyone should spend some time doing that for the overall well-being and mental piece. Beautifully written post.