The beauty of Marriage

Are you okay?

A simple sentence that can keep a marriage happy, going and remain loving. Don’t get me wrong though, this simple phrase shouldn’t just be asked to your partner/by your partner but needs to be answered with sincerity and truth.

Having been married for almost 9 years now, I’ve learned a lot on how to deal with the tweaks of my hubby and I sure know he did too! Marriage is very complex. Emotions such as having someone to love and be loved by someone is great but when mixed with the reality that you need to keep up with another person’s imperfections??? I’m sure all of us would think twice.

The reality is, all of us wish and pray to be find someone who fits perfectly an imaginary person that couldn’t exist because that person is a mirror of yourself. No matter how people say he/she is the perfect person I’ve prayed and hope to be with, I simply won’t agree. For sure there’s that snoring that you hated for the first few years of marriage but simply learned to live with it. Or that annoying mood swings that you don’t know any person can keep up with yet you learned overtime how to act on it without making that person so dear to you more upset.

Once you’ve learned to accept those things, that’s the time you’ll know can say that the person you’ve fully accepted and is the perfect person you want to live with the rest of your life.

A lot of couples though get too complaisant knowing their partner well enough that they forget that their other half is a human. It only means that despite being with them all those years, let’s just say, you “still” don’t know them. That’s why it’s important to always check with one another.

A simple phrase such as “Are you okay?” can mean a lot. What being together all those years helps though is being able to reply to that question with the unfiltered truth. Whether you got disappointed with a petty thing your other half didn’t noticed upset you or you’re all good and just in a mood of talking that much that day, you’re free to blurt out without thinking twice that you might upset your listener because you know he/she will accept you no matter what.

And that’s the beauty of marriage.

When was the last time you checked with your other half, “Are you okay?”

Let me know in the comments below if you find this helpful and meaningful.

Mom Hack: Respecting Time

Time is what we want the most, but what we use the worst. 
- William Penn

As a mother, there’s no doubt most of us would scream for more time to be able to do everything we want to do in 24 hours. This usually results feeling guilty of not being able to accomplish everything we have in mind to do that day. We think and think about it and couldn’t sleep. This only results to feeling sluggish the next day because lack of sleep. It’s not hard to guess what happens when this happens everyday and the stress accumulates. The feeling of something about to explode from the inside is something avoidable but most moms fall short in seeing it happen.

Does this sound like you? Have you been feeling stressed-out lately and things starts getting out of hand? Probably it’s time to set some Mom Boundaries to get back on track and be that confident mom again that you’ve are!

Here are some simple Mom Hacks to make more use of your time in a day and feel less stressed at the same time:

  1. Knowing your PRIORITIES. From the moment you wake up, you roughly know the things you need to do within the day. Making a “To-do list” can come in handy but if you aren’t keen in doing one, that’s okay. What’s important is having in mind a sense of which you priorities to do more on that particular day.

Is it paying your electric bill or dropping by to visit your long-time friend you haven’t seen in decades. Surely meeting up with your friend can be exciting but forgetting to pay your electric bill surely wouldn’t make anyone excited if you miss on doing. There’s nothing wrong in doing things you want to do as long as you know you’ve tick that things on your priority list first before having some fun. Now that’s what you call ‘adulting responsibility’!

2. Be realistic. Preparing your “to-do list” and knowing which one of it is your priority for the day wouldn’t serve its purpose if you don’t set a realistic time in doing them. Being mindful with your schedule is very important. Optimism doesn’t always work when you deal with time as time is definite and you can’t do much about it rather just need to learn to manage it wisely.

More often that not, listing things like going to the bank, getting some milk and bread, fetching the kids and paying the bills can seem like an easy-peasy task for your sooth-sailing afternoon and give you ample time to make dinner. Doing it in reality ain’t that easy though. Forgetting to account the queues in the bank and grocery and travel time going here could easily turn your seemingly uneventful afternoon haywire. You might even resort to ordering pizza on the way home just so you’ll have some dinner to feed you family by the time you arrive home!

3. Learn to adjust. You might have planned well how you want your day to be but as a mom, you’ll know that only change is constant. Trust that there will always be that tantrum that you can’t avoid or someone left at home some important project and you’ll need to turn around.

By knowing how to shuffle your priorities without ruining your mood and just accepting the fact that there’s really no perfect day in motherhood is the key. It’s all about knowing how to deal with change as and when it is needed. Being frustrated only makes you stress and not help you finish the tasks you want to do.

4. Mastering the art of time. Picking the most important task from your list, taking a deep breath and just start being busy doing it. At times, tasks doesn’t really need much time to do. It’s just that we get distracted most of the time while doing things. This results to spending more time than what we really needed.

Learning to time-block and concentrate on doing things in a short time (undisturbed) can usually do the trick. Use that phone-time to cook your 30-minute meal or write a blog. Your kids surely wouldn’t mind and you’ll also have you pockets of peace doing your thing.

Do you find this tips helpful? Comment below on other parenting advice you’d love to hear from.

xoxo,

Jeannine

How much do you love?

Marriage for me is a special blessing. Don’t get me wrong, my marriage with my husband has been through the usual bumps of life. Despite that, knowing the thought of someone understanding me in mood swings I may be, is also mind-blowing for me. I myself could say how difficult it is to deal with myself, what more would it be for another person.

I won’t dig deep on how important it is in ones religion because I totally respect what belief you have in life. Rather, I’d keep this sweet and simple with marriage being a congregation of respect and love for your spouse without forgetting of yourself in the process.

My husband and I had this conversation years ago which I think changed our marriage. It only took 2 questions and a simple answer.

That day, my hubby asked me if I love him. Without thinking twice, I answered, “of course!” How much? He asked next. Now I had to pause for a bit. Then answered, 110%! You know! That kind of answer with re-assurance.

Guess what his answer was…..

That shouldn’t be. Leave some for yourself. I’ll be happy with 90% 😆! haha

From that day on, I always make sure to love myself first in anyway. Whenever we’re going out, I’d wake up an hour early–ALWAYS! That’s all it took for me not to be stressed and angry with everyone whenever we go out because I feel that I don’t have time for myself. It just took a bit of mind-setting here and there. An hour early to bed the night before and an hour early to wake up! From there one, I’d have my sweet one hour to do all my the things I needed to do for myself before the kids wake-up.

The effect of this didn’t only affected my relationship with my husband but with my kids as well. I’m more relieved with mom-guilt nowadays and tend to be more relaxed in my parenting. In return, my kids seems to have less tantrums too because I’m able to give attention to them at the exact time they needed me and they’re also given the freedom to explore and make their minds wonder without me being a paranoid mother.

How about you? How much do you love you love ones? You might be loving them too much and not leaving some for yourself which makes you frustrated in life instead of appreciating the things around you.

Let me know in the comments below how this works for you!

xoxo,

Jeannine

Our brain is a muscle

I heard that from somewhere but strike me a lot.

I actually needed to google that to check on that too. Well, guess what?! It’s NOT! I know it’s an organ but based on some studies, it acts more like a muscle. Oh yes! It can change and get stronger.

What does it have to do with my/your mindset?!

Exactly what you just said. MIND – SET!

How hard could it be to understand that? Yet, a lot of people tend to disregard this thought rather than using it to improve themselves or better yet, their lives.

Now how does the way you think of things change the way you live your life? Here’s a perfect example.

Think about your body. Let’s start with your hair. How to you see your hair? Is it healthy, dry, needs touch-up, colour? It actually doesn’t matter, what’s important is you should love it! Our hair is our hair. It may be healthy, dry, needs touch-up or colour but if you think deeper on the real use of hair which is to serve as a source of heat insulation and cooling (when sweat evaporates from soaked hair) as well as protection from ultra-violet radiation exposure, then maybe we’ll have more appreciation with the kind of hair we’ve been blessed with.

I guess you get my point already and not need to go one by one with the parts of our body. Same goes with everything that happens in your life.

The way you see things and appreciate the small things could slowly make a difference in your life.

Try it! When your alarm goes off tomorrow morning, appreciate the fact that you’ve been given another day to live instead of hitting the snooze button and contemplate on another miserable day ahead of you.

Let me know in the comments below on how your day goes and which did you choose to do!

Happy mind-setting!

xoxo,

Jeannine