Are you a modern parent? I’m sure there’s a lot of times you’ve been caught red-handed, desperately praying for guidance on how to discipline your child/children.
Our children means a lot to us. We only want the best for them.
The problem is….
Your children are uhh….children? From the moment they had their first step, that’s the start of every parent’s concern. They start to love to explore and try things without any hesitation.
You might not realise it yet but they are the ones who came up with the YOLO motto(You Only Live Once). They trust you so much be there for them as support. so they do as they please without the worry of tomorrow or even worry of getting hurt themselves.
All of the about is a fact and as parents, we are given that special duty to provide guidance, protection and discipline to our children. Those words doesn’t give justice on how much it weighs in real life.
Let’s be honest! It’s a tough task to do as we’re human too. That being said means there’s also a tendency for our fuse to blow, especially when tested. And those little ones (oh, boy! know how to test our patience. This article on “How to address intense situation with your child” might help you a lot! Check it out.
Anyways, we’ve been brought up in the era where spanking is still widely part of how parents discipline your child. Nowadays, one touch and that’s called child abuse. (I was blessed my parents used modern-parenting as I didn’t experienced that)
Whoever spares the rod hates their children, but the one who loves their children is careful to discipline them. Proverbs 13.24
Though, it doesn’t mean that parents abused their children, it’s was the society that dictate that. Or maybe some took advantage that resort to something extreme which led to what our laws have nowadays. One things for sure, parents knew how much threshold their child can endure.
How then do we discipline without resort to hurting/spanking? Nobody wants their child to grow up spoiled, privileged and ill-mannered, right?
Here are 5 ways to do it:
I’m not only talking about teaching your kids respect. It applies to us, parents, as well. How we respect our kids shows/teaches them more what “respect” means much more than just explaining it in words.
A usual scenario where you can show your children you respect them can be done by simply giving them a heads-up 5-minutes before end of playtime. Just like us adults, we want to at least finish what we’re doing before being interrupted to do something else.
Same as your kids, playing may not mean that much to us but those dolls that need to be fed or trucks brought back to its parking means a lot to them. So give them a chance do that.
You’ll be surprised how much easier it would be for them to follow you with the next task that needs to be done.
You might think, by showing/giving respect to your child, they might misinterpret it as you as lowering your guard. That’s not the point. You just what to show them as well that they are as important as you and they deserve the same respect.
- Set limits
This is why together with respect, you also need to set limits. Draw a line where they’ll know when you talk business.
Being a parent and knowing much more gives you that advantage to give them what they want but on your terms.
Children are born seeking for attention always. There may be a point in your life when you just want/need to do something but your child pulls you to show how she made her new art.
Trust me, give them that 1 minute of full attention and you’ll have your 30 minutes of peace.=) Go with her slowly, praise how the art looks great and then add in your dialogue that you need to finish something important. It would take about 30 minutes to finish then you’ll play together afterwards. All that takes less than a minute to say =)
- Help them explain their feelings
You must understand that your child’s vocabulary is still limited. You also know that communication is very important in every relationship, that includes parent-child relations.
Whenever you’re caught red-handed and about to exploded, try to talk to your child and know the reason for such attitude/wrong doings. Their explanation might not be great but understanding more about the situation gives you time to cool down.
It is important that you give them the opportunity to talk. By giving them that freedom and be heard only shows how fair you are on how you discipline them.
- Give consequences
After much explanation/contemplation/discussion within yourself, your husband and your child, it is still important to give consequences for any wrong doing your child has done. This may be as simple as facing-the-wall or going to their room.
At the end of the day, your child still needs to know the importance of acknowledging their mistakes but in a way where they aren’t hurt and angry but rather children who absorbed the lessons of the situation. This creates harmony to your home and a place they’d love to look back when they grow older. You also as their parents are able to discipline your children with grace and ease. That’s what every mother would love to have, right?